Friendships that endure

Our regular ex-Serdang College mates' (1962-1965) gathering,
Taken in Year 2014

The phone rings incessantly.  All the calls are for my husband.   It is the time for another get-together.  His buddies call to confirm the date of the meeting.  Fondly called their ‘secretary-general’, he is the coordinator. 

  

What is this exciting occasion?  It is the Serdang College (now Universiti Putra) class of 1962 to  ‘65 members organising another gathering.   

Once in 2 months, this group of eight ex-college mates - and spouses - meets.  During such gatherings, there will be a tennis game followed by dinner. In between matches, the members chat away like excited schoolboys who had not seen each other for a long time.

After a tennis game (Taken in year 2000)

These guys are retired or semi-retired now; some are working in corporations or universities, while others are into social work. However, these friends keep in touch with each other through such occasions and hope to age gracefully together. 

This get-together started three years ago when my husband invited two of his ex-college mates and their wives to our club for a game of tennis followed by dinner. We had an enjoyable evening.

Subsequently this was continued; a different guy organising each occasion in different clubs or hotels.

Everyone looks forward to the next gathering, often foregoing other activities.  As time progressed, the tennis sessions become more challenging (playing on different surfaces in different locations) and the conversations become more nostalgic. 

Tennis as played by these veterans is one-of-a-kind.  There is little of the controlled quiet stance you see in Grand Slam tournaments.  Shouts of “watch out”, “ayo!”, “my ball”, “alamak” and ‘curi ayam kah’ interspersed with laughter, fill the air.  

With thinning grey hair and the beginnings of a slight paunch, these seniors run around the court chasing a yellow ball with obvious delight.  It does not matter if muscles ache after the gathering - the fun of the evening overshadows the agonising pain of overused unused muscles!
   
What is the bond that links this group together?  Well, it’s undeniably Serdang College. There, students from Peninsular Malaysia and Sabah and Sarawak - each of different race, culture, religion and background - come together under one canopy to study agriculture.

Serdang College Graduates 1962-1965 (Taken in Year 1965)

Classes were small then (28 students); hence they get to know each other very well. Studying and staying together in the dormitory for three years, coupled with playing a variety of games – tennis, rugby, football, hockey, volleyball and badminton - have produced a special rapport among them.

What keeps this gathering alive? Why do some travel from as far as Kedah and Malacca to keep the date?

“ It is good to take a break after a stressful day at the office,” commented one.

“ This is the only time I play so I try not to miss it,” chipped in another.

            “I enjoy playing with my old college-mates,” said another tennis player who added, 

            “There is a certain oomph here lah!” 

Throughout the evening, nicknames spill out instead of “Datuk” or  “Dr”.  There is genuine care and interest in each other amidst the handshaking, backthumping and  hugging.  At the dinner table, the ex-college mates would catch up on the latest news on investments, current affairs, jobs, hobbies and health. The children’s education, jobs and marriages sometimes come up for discussion.  It is gratifying to see different races enjoying a meal together and discussing matters of common interest. 
   
The wives, too, have developed a warm friendship, from the frequent meetings and the close compatibility of their spouses.  We share age-defying tips, health problems and recipes unique to each race.  


Another reason for this congenial atmosphere is the memory of Serdang’s orientation for freshies.  Each freshie had to get signatures from seniors and these did not come free!  They had to run errands, wash clothes, make animal calls and do lots more, all to induce laughter from the seniors. 
 

Orientation was a worthwhile channel to make friends.  Friendship formed during that time has lasted through the years.

Everyone remembered the funny parts and the guys would laugh heartily when it was brought up during dinner. Sometimes the merriment exceeded a certain decibel but other club members were generally tolerant of such happy outbursts from senior citizens!
   
The guys often talked affably about their lecturers: the good, the bad and the very stern!  The Principal, G.I. Martin, is well remembered, especially for his satay treats in Kajang after successful rugby and hockey competitions. They appreciate his strict discipline in academic and extra-curricular activities.  Such rigorous regime has helped them in their career and family life.

The lecturers and administrative staff (1962-65)

 
The college motto: Bertani untuk berbakti (roughly translated as “farming to serve”) is held close to their hearts.  It was practised in college and was carried out in their working life.  Many had contributed significantly to integrated farming practices to  in the rural areas. 
   
Some are still toiling and tilling the land as a hobby after retirement.  The fruits of their labour included rambutans, nangkas, pumpkins, papayas and vegetables, all organically grown and distributed generously during these gatherings.

This type of interracial gathering is easy to organise.  All it takes is one initiator to get the ball rolling. Besides establishing close relationships among friends, it integrates the various races.  It is the focal point for such college mates to get contacts about other friends too.  Very often, this group will attend functions like birthdays and weddings together.

One outcome from such gatherings was a grand party organised for their Principal, Martin, in May last year.  Martin and his wife had returned to Malaysia for a visit after an absence of 25 years.

 

It was heartwarming to see the multiracial friends mingling with each other and  their lecturers.  There was no problem with language as everyone conversed fluently in English and Bahasa Malaysia.

G I M Martin (seated, with black coat) with students (class of 1962- 1965),
in Kuala Lumpur. Taken in year 2000

In 2010, G I Martin came back to Malaysia for a second time. He met up with many of his colleagues and students at a gathering organised to welcome him.

G I Martin with Prof Chin and his students

G I Martin receiving a souvenir from his students

Group photo of G I Martin with lecturers and students

This solid foundation of friendship among the different races was laid from a young age.  Tolerance, understanding and co-operation helped the friendship to mature over the years.  Dormitory life where college mates stay together and did everything together-ate, studied, tilled the soil, shared aspirations, competed academically, and  played games together – was one good training ground for racial integration.

I wonder whether our younger generation with their overseas education, sophisticated lifestyle and modern technology will ever have the kind of rapport among the races that the Serdang college mates had. 

Only time will tell.

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This article was published in the Star (Malaysian newspaper) on 11th December 2000.
It is edited and photos are added here. The gatherings are still ongoing and this year, 2015,
there were three gatherings.